A Gift of A Medal
by Sara-KatieGrissom
Summary: It started with the gift of a medal and ended with the gift of a medal. Carolyn Barek knew Mike Logan was special to her, his gift of faith showed it.


The Medal

Spoilers: Diamond Dogs, Dramma Giocoso, The Healer, The Good

Summary: It started with a medal and ended with a medal.

Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order CI or anything related to them, only the medals and the kids.

Mike watched Carolyn as she looked at the room, counting the bullets. Once she was done, she began talking. It was strange how she talked to herself but it was who she was. Once the tape was finished, they set out to look around the store again, Carolyn's insistance of if they missed anything. He humored her and stayed an extra ten minutes. After nine, Carolyn went to a case, looking down, he walked over.

"Medals?"

Carolyn looked at him and smiled, "St. Michael, patron saint, protector and overseer of cops. You need one with all the trouble you get into. My father gave me one when I entered the force, it was lost on the job. I was tackling a kid and he grabbed it. We were over a drainage grate, it tore and fell into it. It meant alot to me, but the past is the past."

"You learn from the past."

"That you do, look up 1 Corinthians 10:11a."

"I'm not a bible person."

"All these things happened to them as examples, as object lessons to us, to warn us against doing the same things."

"Did you memorize the bible in sunday school?"

"No, I just memorize certain parts, in that I learned never to wear jewelry longer then two inches below my neck and if so, place it in my shirt. We should get to the station."

"I'll pass, I'm not that big on faith,I trust my gun to protect me."

"Too bad, that one is perfect." Pointing to one, "It could pin your tie to your shirt."

"Well Beautiful, that one is perfect for you."

"No, the last one is the one I like." Pointing.

"Can you start the car, I need to speak to CSU for a moment?" He handed her the keys and she smiled, Mike liked her already.

He went to the back and looked at the guy, "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Yes Detective?"

"Can I get one of your medals, can you set it aside for a few days till I can come get it?"

"Which one?"

Mike showed the guy and he set it aside till Mike could come get it. He did after the store was cleared from being a crime scene nine days later, he then went to an engraver he knew.

"Mikey, what's up."

"Not much Jake, I need you to engrave something for me." He laid the medal down, "here's the paper."

"For a girl?"

"Partner, long story. Can you do it by the end of the week?"

"How's an hour?"

"That's great, see you in an hour."

Two days later

Carolyn sat down at her desk to find a small green box, she read the tag and smiled. 

**For a new partner, not one to judge or to be critical. I wanted to give what was taken from you, a peace offering for the future. Thanks Barek for giving me a chance.**

She opened the box to find a St. Michael medal, the one she pointed out in the jewelry store. Mike was sweet and she liked him. It wasn't the medal or how he gave her the gift, it was how he acted. He hadn't judged her or commented badly towards her, he joked about her habit of talking to herself instead of saying rudely to stop. When she said something about her Catholic faith and what she had learned, he joked with that as well. She liked being partners with him and they had only had one case together so far. She wanted to be what cops called 'partners for life', and after spending only thirteen days together, it said alot. Placing the medal around her neck, Carolyn found it too long so she placed it inside her shirt.

Cases went by and by and by, it wasn't intil one case that she connected with Mike, more then she should have, that began a new look on their partnership. After the Laura Booth case, in which a girl was thrown down a airshaft and killed, by her mother of all people. After that, they went to Mike's for a drink. The next morning they woke to find everything had changed.

Next Morning

Carolyn woke to a hand on her chest, she opened her eyes and looked down to see someone touching her medal. She turned her head to see her partner looking at it, he kept looking at it as he began to talk.

"You wear it everyday, why?"

Carolyn shook her head and closed her eyes, "this isn't real." She took the medal from his hands and rolled onto her side. "I haven't slept with my partner." Finding her clothes on the floor, she grabbed them and moved from the bed, covering herself with the sheet. Mike watched her leave the bed to the bathroom, shutting the door.

He dressed and went to the door, he heard her talking to herself and figured it was to stop the truth. The door opened and she stood there, looking at him as he looked at her. "Move aside!" Mike still stood there, he wasn't going to let her hurt herself by denying the truth. "Logan I said to move aside."

"No! I'm not going to till you realize the truth." She pushed him aside but he grabbed her wrist, pulling her back. "Carolyn, denying the truth is going to make things worse between us."

"Stop," she shook her head and looked away.

Pulling her face back, he took her chin and made her face him, "hey, listen to me."

"I can't..." she closed her eyes.

"No, you won't, you don't want to because you think it will go away. It won't Carolyn, I won't let you hurt yourself, I care that much. This medal shows you care about me, you wear it everyday. I didn't realize what is was but I do now. Look at me?"

She kept her eyes closed and Mike shook his head it would take a while. "Carolyn, Beautiful look at me." At the name he called her when they were on their first case, she opened her eyes.

"Let me go," when she saw his face and remembered the night before, Carolyn tried to pull away. Once her hand was free, she pushed passed him but he grabbed her arm. "Logan stop!" She pushed him away but he pulled her to him. Once she was mere inches away, Mike kissed her. Carolyn let him kiss her and within moments, she gave in.

Releasing her arm, Mike took her face in his hands. After a moment he pulled back and looked at her. "Go now if you want to, deny everything you remember last night and this morning."

Carolyn started to turn as he finished talking but when she got to the front door, he had made it to the living room and began again. "It will hurt though Caro, everytime you look at me, it will bring flashbacks. I will warn you, once you leave, there's no coming back, no second chance. It's now or never."

Looking at the door, Carolyn placed a hand on the doorknob. "What is the option? I become your new toy for a few weeks?"

"Not with you Caro, dating is the perfect solution. It will take work, you probably haven't dated a partner before, neither have I. We have to separate work from home, it's your option though."

"What do you want?"

"Me? I want you in my life, when I saw the medal around your neck and realized it was the one I gave you...fireworks went off. I wanted to know why, I guess I know why now?"

"Why?"

"You want to know I'll always protect you. That medal, it's not for St. Michael that you wear it. It's because of me. You're scared to loose me, I mean that much. I can't loose you either Caro."

Carolyn took her hand off the knob and turned to look at him, "no one has ever been able to read me. My parents said, since I became a profiler, that if someone that wasn't a profiler could read me...they had a place in my life."

Mike walked over and looked down at her, "what does that mean?"

"It means...pick me up at seven tonight for a date. Don't be late!"

The days went by after their first date and second and third, a case came in about a voodoo healer. It made their views separate for a few days, dinner at Carolyn's place or their fourth date, was over the case. He had Poison Ivy so she didn't let him touch much.

"I'm just saying, it's not you." As they ate Chinese, "you're Catholic, it made me wonder about your faith till you made the statement earlier."

Carolyn smiled and watched as he grabbed the container of rice, "great, I can't eat that now!"

"What?"

"Poison Ivy, it's all over you. Your neck, arms and hands, I won't eat after you this time."

"Really? I can make you suffer the same fate." Smiling as he place the container down and looked at her.

"You do so and I kill you, I'm serious."

"You can't get it, I looked online. I took a shower and washed the sap off, I have been putting the Calamine lotion on."

"Still, I'm not taking chances, don't touch me please."

Mike shook his head and smiled, leaning over he kissed her head. "Night Caro," getting up, Mike left.

"Night." He turned once getting to the door, he saw her smile.

After the poison ivy problem, things went back to 'normal', they had fun on a date. Mike took Carolyn to the Brooklyn Botanical Garden, on a warm day she insisted. Being winter, it was fifty outside.

"Hey Beautiful, do I know you?" Mike got out of his car infront of Carolyn's brownstone. She stood by the steps.

"Don't think so!" She smiled and walked over to him, he opened th car door for her. "I could be wrong though."

Botanical Gardens

As they walked, Mike looked at Carolyn while she looked at the flowers and plants.

"They're beautiful!" She looked at Mike and he nodded.

"I know but the most beautiful flower is you." Carolyn laughed gently and smiled as he kissed her.

"Come on, I'm cold and we haven't seen everything."

Mike let her continue looking as he held an arm around her shoulder. After the garden, they went back to his place for dinner.

"You can cook?" She stood leaning against the counter as he cooked steaks in the oven.

"Come on Caro, you doubt my cooking is worse then my shooting?"

"I can cook and shoot better then you." She watched him smile, he turned to her.

"Range next date, if I win?"

"I have to do paperwork, if I win, you by me dinner at Jefferson's!"

"We have strange dates!" Looking at her, Carolyn laughed.

"I have a strange boyfriend," leaning over, she kissed him. Mike drew it out for a few seconds before looking back at the carrots he was cutting. "But I adore him." She rubbed his back as she moving around him.

"Are you staying over tonight?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind." Pulling plates down, he opened the oven to pull out the steaks.

"I don't mind, dinner is almost done."

"I dread it." Joking as she placed the plates on the counter.

"You'll learn that I can cook within ten minutes."

True to his word, Carolyn learned he could cook and she helpped clean up. They readied for bed and laid talking. She found it strange since the last time they had been in bed together was when they first slept together and ended up dating.

"Hi," he placed a hand on her hair before taking her medal between his fingers. Carolyn smiled and looked at him.

"Hi, it seems both strange and natural that I'm here." She took his hand into hers.

"Tell me."

"Can't descibe it, just that it seems that way. You can take a guess, it might help me."

"Carolyn Mary Barek can't read her ownself, what did you take?"

"The only thing I took was the food you cooked for me." She pushed him and he pulled her into his arms. Carolyn settled into his arms, laying her head on his chest, listening to the 'thump, thump' of his heart. Mike ran a hand through her hair continuously.

"Mike, don't break my heart please."

"I'll try not to Baby." Kissing her head as he heard her breathing slow, she was asleep.

Next Morning

Carolyn woke to find herself in bed alone, she got out of bed and went into the kitchen area, Mike stood cooking. Going over, she placed a hand on his back, he smiled. "Morning."

"I woke up alone and cold." Mike placed a kiss on her head and smiled.

"I'm sorry, I was cooking you breakfast."

"What is it?" She looked at the stove to find eggs and french toast. "Looks great."

"Thank you, are you okay?" He saw her face and wondered, he placed an arm around her.

"I want to leave Major Case, Deakins is. I want to, once people find out about us, things will happen."

"What's leaving have to do with it?"

Carolyn looked at the floor, she was silent so Mike asked again, "what is it Baby?"

He began rubbing her back and kissed her head.

"I was due two weeks ago."

Mike looked at her and stopped breathing for a second, she was possibly pregnant. When she began to show, people would ask who the father was. They both knew that Mike would be the first person due to his habit of womanizing.

"Is it stress maybe?"

"Maybe, I have to see. I have an appointment with my doctor on friday to be sure."

"Caro, a child..."

"You don't have to worry, I don't expect you to..."

"You don't think I would take responsiblity? God dammit Carolyn, this is different. I would never leave someone with a child and walk away. Especially someone I care about deeply."

Carolyn nodded and looked up at him, knowing he was telling the truth.

"God Baby, I'm not that low." He kissed her head and rested his chin it.

Carolyn felt bad for the rest of the day, she left after breakfast. For two days they had trouble talking except for cases. Later after her appointment on friday, she went over to Mike's.

"I'm not pregnant." She paced the floor, Mike sat there listening.

"Thank God!"

"You have no idea how scared I was Mike. Not only is it a problem for you...us. It would look bad for my parents." She sat down beside him, Mike pulled her into his arms.

"Carolyn, I care for you alot. Know if anything was to happen, I'd be there."

She smiled and shook her head, he didn't care for her, he loved her. She knew he was denying it to himself, but she also knew it would catch up with him.

"I know," curling up against him, Carolyn closed her eyes. "I know!"

Two weeks later, Mike and Carolyn investigated their last case together. They joked and laughed, Deakins joked too. As Deakins left, he gave Mike a desk, Carolyn was all smiles, Mike finally got a desk away from the pillar he sat behind. After everything was placed away, Mike helpped Carolyn carry her stuff to her car. Once the stuff was packed away, she turned to him.

"So...I'll see you later?" He smiled and so did she.

"Not a chance, Gang Central is sending me to Washington. Listen...Mike it's been...happy. I'm not getting my heart broken, that's the good thing."

"Caro...I love you."

Carolyn smiled, he had the guts to admit it in the Police Plaza parking lot. "I know but you'll find another person, the person who will make you happy. Here, I've worn it since you gave it to me, now you wear it."

She took off the medal and placed it in his hand, "don't loose it."

Turning to her door, Mike placed a hand on her shoulder. "Caro, I'll see you again one day won't I?"

"When you'll give it back."

Mike stood there watching her drive off, the medal was in his hand. He looked down to find the engraving wasn't the one he had engraved.

**To protect you, since you get into trouble. **

**Mike Logan, NYPD, 3728 Major Case**

He starred at it, he had her name and badge number on hers.

**Carolyn Mary Barek, NYPD 6141 Major Case**

It meant she still had hers, he looked up toward the exit, where she left.

One Year Later

Mike sat listening to Nola, he ignored half of what she said. His phone rang and he picked it up.

"Mike Logan," he listened to the other voice on the line. Nola looked up to see him on the phone, his face was worried. She figured it was about Megan. "I understand, is she going to be alright? No I'll come, thank you."

Mike hung up and rubbed his face for a moment. His partner said something and he looked at her, "what Falacci?"

"Is it about Wheeler, is she alright?"

"No, it's about my former partner Carolyn Barek."

"I thought you said Wheeler was your partner."

"Barek was my partner before Wheeler. I have to go to Washington D.C."

Washington D.C.

Mike went into Carolyn's room, she was asleep and resting. He placed a hand on her head, smiling as he kissed her head. "I love you Caro."

"Excuse me?" Mike turned to find an elderly woman holding an infant.

"I'm sorry, Mike Logan."

"Anna Barek, I had the hospital called you."

"Carolyn's married now?" Toward the infant, Anna shook her head no.

"No, this is your son, Carolyn told me never to call. She was afraid you'd leave after a while so she decided to raise him on her own. She found out right after she came to Washington, he's seven weeks. I don't know her condition so I called." Mike took the baby and smiled. "His name is Jacob Michael Barek-Logan, we call him Jake."

"He looks like his mother, her eyes. Hi Jake." Mike smiled as Jake placed his hand on his nose. Mike kissed it and Jake giggled.

"She'll be angry once she wakes up and finds out you know."

"I told Carolyn when we had a pregnancy scare that I'd never leave her with our child alone. I love her." He looked at Carolyn as he held their son, she looked fine to him. "What happened to her?"

"A bomb went off in the building she was in, she was thrown ten feet by the blast. She looks fine but she hasn't woken for three days."

"Carolyn you shouldn't have left Baby." Going over, Mike sat on the bed, touching Carolyn's hand. "You need to wake up Caro, for me and Jake."

Days pasted and Mike stayed at Carolyn's apartment, taking care of their son. Each day he spent with Jake, he enjoyed his son more. He hoped Carolyn would wake up to enjoy the time as well. Ross was informed of the situation and understood, he gave Mike a month off.

Two Weeks Later

As Mike sat feeding Jake and spoke to Anna, Carolyn woke to find herself in the hospital. Moving her hand to her neck, she found her medal there. She moved her head to find both Mike and her mother talking, she realized Mike was holding their son. She watched for a moment, he was doing great and Jake wasn't crying.

"Mike, Mama." Mike looked up to see Carolyn and smiled. He stood up and went to her, placing a kiss on her head.

"Baby, I'm here. I thought we lost you."

She placed a hand on Jake and looked at Mike, he knew she feelt sorry, "sorry!"

"No Baby, don't be. I'm not the best person to trust at times. All I know is we'll be a family once you return to New York."

The doctors pushed Mike aside and checked Carolyn, he watched as the mother of his son was checked for health. Nine days later, Carolyn was cleared to go home, Washington sent her to Gang Central in New York, but she couldn't work for a month. Once arriving home to her newly purchased brownstone which she asked Mike to buy and transport the stuff, both sat down to talk about their son.

"He loves you." Carolyn watched Mike hold their ten week old son, he'd fall asleep instantly when placed in Mike's arms.

"I'm his father, what do you expect?" Carolyn smiled as he placed a hand on their son's head. "I missed that smile."

Carolyn nodded and noticed something under his shirt, she leaned over and pulled it out, his medal.

"I haven't taken it off Caro."

"Me neither."

"We need to speak about things, like marriage and raising our son. I'm not leaving you two, don't think I will."

"I know that now, if you were, you wouldn't have come and you would have left at the sight of Jake."

"He's our son, part of me and part of you."

Six Years Later

Mike stood in the kitchen cooking breakfast when a hand was placed on his back. He turned to find his wife of five years, "Good Morning Baby."

"Morning, Mareka is up and ready to be feed. Jake is playing with Airabella, Annabella and James."

"Thank you for the kid report." Kissing her.

Carolyn shook her head with a smile, in their five year marriage, each morning she'd find him cooking for them. She'd give him what he called 'the kid report' and he'd kiss her. They had Jake who was six, Mike Jr. or James came next, he was four. Twins Airabella and Annabella were two while newborn Mareka was nine weeks, born two months early and finally home, arriving home two days before.

"So, what will you be doing today?" She set up plates for them and their children, heating a bottle for Mareka.

"Plymoth case, Wheeler says I can get the FBI to work with us. I told her it would take a miracle."

"Well I still have connections, I could get it for you." Mike looked at her, he smiled.

"So she talked to you?"

"I have to know what my husband is doing, guess who I ask...his partner."

Mike walked to her and smiled, "I thought we were partners for life?"

"Not at work, but you have me for life. What's this medal for?" Asking about the second medal around his neck.

"That is for you, I placed it around my neck so I wouldn't forget. It's St. Gerard, patron saint of motherhood." He placed the medal around her neck.

"Thank you Mike." She read the back and smiled. It hadn began with a medal and ended with a medal.

**Partners for life, my dear Caro**

**Carolyn M. Logan, NYPD, 6141 GC**


End file.
